Today’s client:

Jean Grey

Jean Grey

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury I am here today to defend my client, Jean Grey, on the charge of being  a “Mary Sue”. The prosecution has been kind enough to already present evidence supporting their theory that she is a “Mary Sue”. The evidence provided was that she is annoying, bland, and that she has a habit of not staying dead. The defense is ready to provide explanations and disprove the entirety of the prosecutorial evidence provided.

Evidence #1 :

Exhibit A: From X-men 53

Exhibit A: From X-men 53

The prosecution claims my client  is extremely annoying, and truthfully, she has the right to be. I ask that you, the members of the jury, imagine yourself with telepathic abilities, the same very abilities my client possesses, and I ask you to imagine that you are going throughout your day forced to hear everyone’s thoughts, be they impure, angry, or mundane. How would you act in public if you had to put up with everyone’s mind all at once? My client only acts annoying to those around her because she is frustrated with it all. Most people in her position would do the same.  That in and of itself is evidence that she is not a Mary Sue. A Mary Sue is someone who is too perfect to be believable, and my client is very human in that she responds with disgust and attitude when dealing with what can be best described as “idiots” on a daily basis.

Evidence #2:

Exhibit B

Exhibit B: Source Unknown

It has been asserted by the prosecution that my client is a bland character. The defense proposes that Jean Grey is actually an interesting character but suffers from so many personalities that her true self is not truly known.  Ms. Grey has had a multitude of personas, code names, and states of mind. She has been three different incarnations of the Phoenix Force; been called Marvel Girl, Jean Grey, and the Phoenix; and has been brainwashed on several occasions. The truth is my client doesn’t know who the real Jean is, and this is why my client comes off as bland. If you don’t know who to be then how can you actually have any semblance of personality? Members of the Jury this is my client’s predicament. How can someone with so many identity issues be a Mary Sue? She is obviously flawed in the sense that she doesn’t know who she is and really, how many of us know who we truly are?

Evidence #3:

Exhibit C: From Uncanny X-men 101

Exhibit C: From Uncanny X-men 101

The prosecution has claimed that the greatest piece of evidence confirming that my client is indeed a Mary Sue is that she has beaten death on several occasions. The defense has a valid explanation for this. My client is host to the Phoenix Force, a being of energy and mythological importance. In myth, the phoenix always rises from the ashes of its former self. The same can be said of my client. Her various deaths were all just her living up to her namesake. In truth, out of my client’s fourteen deaths only five could be considered real deaths.  To many this could be considered being a Mary Sue as she even beats out death, but it is another flaw in her character. She is now forced to live forever and nothing can kill her. Why anyone would see this as an example of perfection is beyond me. Immortality is a curse, not a blessing. My client will outlive almost everyone she knows, and she will be forced to watch her friends and family die. This will cause severe depression and disconnection with the universe. She couldn’t possibly be a Mary Sue under these terms.

In closing, the Defense believes the charge against Ms. Grey is entirely fictitious. Anyone that has met Ms. Grey will know that she is troubled and not perfect. If the charge of being a Mary Sue is fixated on the character being too perfect, we believe we have disproven the basis of these charges.

The defense rests!

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